The Best Laid Plans. And A Question.

Recently I received a Facebook message from a friend telling me she was getting a divorce. This is a person I’ve known since Junior High and although we’ll comment on each other’s statuses here and there, we haven’t actually talked in many, many years.

But this is one of the unexpected results I’ve experienced from working on this blog. Because I write the way I do, people feel comfortable reaching out and telling me their stories.

It’s pretty cool.

Continue reading The Best Laid Plans. And A Question.

Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part Two.

“Will you at least be nice?”

“Tracey. I am being nice.”

Paul!” I said in exasperation. “You’re acting like you don’t like him!”

“Oh, he’ll KNOW if I don’t like him,” he replied and took a sip of his drink, looking over my shoulder to see if there was anyone less annoying to talk to.

“Jesus,” I sighed.

All around us our friends were drinking and catching up in the patio area of a bar located on the outskirts of our town. The venue had been moved by majority demand and now instead of the small intimate gathering I’d planned, we’d ended up in an expansive space with a band, dancing and a huge outdoor courtyard with heaters and picnic tables. I didn’t mind the change though, because now I felt I didn’t have to be in hostess mode and besides, we’d had a really great turn out so the larger setting actually made sense. Everyone was hugging each other and laughing and taking pictures and screaming, “Oh my god! I didn’t know you’d be here! What the hell have you been up to?!” The Seventh Annual Hometown Holiday Drinks was turning out to be quite a success.

If I do say so myself.

“We’re going to sort this out right now,” I said and grabbed Paul’s arm. I began to lead him to one of the tables.

“Fine,” he acquiesced. “But you might not like what I have to say.”

“Whatever,” I grumbled.

Ugh. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.

Continue reading Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part Two.

Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part One.

“I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!”

“I know, baby,” My Boyfriend said as he reached over from the driver’s seat and squeezed my knee. “But it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I feel sketchy!” I cried, as I doubled over and attempted to take in huge gulps of air.

“You’re okay. Just lay the seat back and try to relax.”

It was the last day of my Christmas visit and we were on the way to SFO from our hometown to drop me off for my flight back to NYC. As we’ve all seen, I am not a good flyer under the best of circumstances but today with the added exhaustion, anxiety and nausea, I was not doing well. At all. I sat up and shielded my eyes as I looked out the window. Sausalito whizzed by, illuminated by the too-bright morning sunlight.

I laid the seat back and closed my eyes tightly. Then I whimpered, “I don’t understand why this is happening.”

“Well, we went big on Friday at Hometown Holiday Drinks,” My Boyfriend was saying. “And then yesterday at Lana’s brunch, you girls were hitting the champagne pretty hard.”

“I know, but I drank plenty of water last night and we went to bed early,” I said. “I should be okay.”

“Well, we haven’t had a lot of downtime overall,” he pointed out.

I opened my eyes and sniveled, “I kind of over-scheduled us, didn’t I?”

He smiled and reached to the backseat. “Here. Take my jacket and use it as a pillow. Try to get some rest.”

I took the jacket and folded it beneath my head. “I don’t feel well.” I looked up at him.

He looked down at me in pity. “Baby, if you’re not feeling better by the time we hit the bridge, I think we should change your flight to tomorrow.”

“But we’re trying to save money for visits!” I insisted.

“I know. But it’s only money. And it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” I muttered.

“I think you’ve hit the wall,” he said.

“I think you’re right,” I replied.

Then I turned over and pulled the jacket over my head.

Continue reading Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part One.

And One More Farewell.

“Oh no,” Tina sighed sadly. And she really did sound sad. “Lux was one of my favorite characters.”

I sighed as well. “I know, me too.”

“What a bummer,” she said,

“Well, hopefully she’ll be making a cameo here and there,” I said as I put her on speaker and placed the phone on the butcherblock. I pulled a knife from the drawer and took a deep breath. I was trying my hand ONE LAST TIME at making chicken and vegetables for the next day’s lunch. I meant it this time. This was it. Every other attempt I’d tried had resulted in me bringing my efforts to work and then just abandoning them because they were never any good. I told myself, if I opted for pizza one more time instead of eating my prepared meal, I was never cooking again.

Continue reading And One More Farewell.

A Farewell to Lux.

“You can’t be serious,” Lux said. “You’re really going to see that movie?”

“Oh my god, are you kidding?!” I exclaimed. “I can’t wait! I’ve read each of the books like five times.”

McKenzie interjected, “The Fifty Shades of Grey Books? You’ve read those books five times?”

“Yes! I love them!” I said and tightened my grip on the subway pole to steady myself.

They both looked at me, somewhat horrified.

“Okay, look,” I said quickly. “I know they’re not well-written and the sex scenes are ridiculous and boring but there’s something…there’s something about the story of two fucked up people evolving and working it out.” I sighed. “I like it.”

Lux raised her eyebrows at me. “Okay.” And then she turned to McKenzie. “So, about our running group. I think we should meet at like 6:30am a few times a week.”

“That’s fine,” said McKenzie. “I’ll be running anyway.” McKenzie, who has run the NYC marathon two years in a row and always had some sort of race coming up. On Mondays when we talk about our weekends she’ll say something like, “Oh, and on Sunday I ran eleven miles.” And she’ll say it so matter of fact, not bragging at all, just like it was no big deal.

Then I’ll tell her that the only activity I’d done over the weekend was to take out the garbage.

“Tracey, can you make it uptown to us by 6:30?” Lux asked.

“Oh geez, I don’t know,” I said. “Is it even safe to be out that early?”

“What are you talking about?” Lux asked. “It’s 6:30. It’s not like it’s -”

I put my hand up. “Can we talk about this when we’ve not all had multiple drinks?”

And then they laughed.

But it was that kind of sad laughter.

Because see, we were riding the subway uptown, as we all lived there, after having drinks for Lux’s last day at the company.

Continue reading A Farewell to Lux.

Strangers (Sort of), In The Night.

I recently had the opportunity to cheat on My Boyfriend.

Now before you all get riled up, no, I didn’t put myself in a compromising position. I wasn’t at a bar slinking across a velvet lounger with the thin strap of my sparkly dress falling fetchingly off my shoulder, laughing lightly and sipping a cosmo that was bought for me by a charming gentleman leaning into me on said lounger.

It wasn’t like that.

Continue reading Strangers (Sort of), In The Night.

Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.

McKenzie IM’d me first thing Thursday morning: “#Cliffhanger.”

And then a few minutes later: “Are you alright?”

Soon after, I received an email from Sheri: “It’s imperative that we talk about today’s post. Lunch?

“WTF happened??” Tina’s message flashed up on Facebook. “Are you okay??”

Why was everyone asking if I was okay?

Continue reading Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.

Detour.

“You make my job easy, Tracey,” Dr. Shay said as he placed my chart on his desk and sat down across from me. “Everything looks good. So. What else is going on?”

We’d just finished up my yearly physical, but since he is more of a “360 View” type doctor, Dr. Shay would always chat with me afterwards to make sure there was nothing else on my mind that could be affecting my health. That’s why I knew during my lunch with Sheri, when I was getting so hysterical about my long-distance situation, that I should probably go see him.

Continue reading Detour.

Big News!

Everyone who’s ever met The Cat has agreed she’s pretty much the cutest thing they’ve ever seen.

Honestly.

It’s the truth.

I’m not just saying this because I live with her.

Continue reading Big News!

Living, Working & Dating as a 40-Something Single in NYC

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 160 other followers

%d bloggers like this: