Three Out of Five. Part Two.

A few days after that, it was the Fourth of July.  Fourth of July is a HUGE deal in my town. People come from all over and there’s a parade and a ton of booths with art and wine and beer and every type of food you could possibly ever imagine. If you go downtown that day, you can pretty much guarantee you’ll see everyone you’ve ever known.

So as a result, I didn’t want to go.

Continue reading Three Out of Five. Part Two.

Three Out of Five. Part One.

After our fight, I had planned on punishing My Boyfriend by sleeping on the couch. But it ended up being really cold that night, so later I crept in bed.

I made sure to keep myself and The Cat on our side though.

The next morning when he said, “I love you, Tracey,” before he left for work, I rolled away from him and didn’t respond.

Which is something I promised myself I would never, ever do.

Continue reading Three Out of Five. Part One.

Resend: Are We In the Clear Yet? Part Two

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Here it is for those of you who missed it:

Are We In the Clear Yet? Part Two


Are We In The Clear Yet? Part Two.

Back in February when I was still working, both my co-workers Lacy and McKenzie had urged me to download Taylor Swift’s 1989.

This did not sound like a thing I  wanted to do.

“I’m telling you – it’s amazing. Perfect running music,” McKenzie had said with reverence.

Lacy had nodded in agreement. “It will change your life.”

“Fine,” I’d said. I downloaded and listened to it once.

“Not for me,” I’d declared the next day.

They both looked at me and shook their heads sadly as if to say, “She just doesn’t get it.”

Continue reading Are We In The Clear Yet? Part Two.

Are We In The Clear Yet? Part One.

“I don’t think we’re going to make it.”

This is what I wanted to respond to my friends when they’d check in to see how I was doing.

“How are you adjusting, love?” they’d ask.

“Is it wonderful to be home?!” they’d inquire.

“How is your Boyfriend?” they’d wonder.

“Do you miss New York?” “Have you found a job?” “How is The Cat?” “I miss you so much!!”

And all I could think to reply was:

“I don’t think we’re going to make it.”

But I never said that.  Because I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.

Continue reading Are We In The Clear Yet? Part One.

Just an Excuse to Get a Cute New Carrier.

“Do you want a Xanax?”

“No thanks.”

“Are you going to have a drink?” I asked, as I crammed the stack of gossip magazines I’d bought for the flight in the seat pocket in front of me.

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” I was confused. My Boyfriend is not a big drinker but still, I could not fathom why anyone would ever want to fly sober.

“I don’t know,” he said and shrugged. And then he leaned down to The Cat’s carrier at his feet and unzipped the secret opening where he could pet her undetected.

“Oh my god,” I said. “You don’t want  to be out of it in case she freaks out!”

He smiled. “I just want to be prepared. For anything.”

And I knew in that moment that he meant not only The Cat, but me, and my reaction to this trip.

“You are the best man,” I said.

Continue reading Just an Excuse to Get a Cute New Carrier.

Second & Final.

“Did you pick that outfit out yourself?!” McKenzie exclaimed, as she walked across the bar towards me, beer already in hand.

“I did! How did I do?” I asked, as I gestured to my low-cut green satin romper. I had accented it with thick gold necklaces and the high-heeled gold sandals Sheri had given me the previous Summer.

“I love it! You look fantastic,” she said. She turned to my right. “Oh my god, hi!! I have to give you a hug. I feel like I know you already!” She hurled her arms around My Boyfriend. “I’m McKenzie!”

I smiled at them and then looked around the bar. Sheri was chatting with Sean. Caitlyn was catching up with Bea. Marlie was perched on one of the leather couches with my old neighbor, Cody.  Bree, her boyfriend, and Lin were gathered around a tall table, sampling an appetizer platter. My friend Hana, who’d just moved back to town from Boston, was at the bar with our friend EJ. All my nearest and dearest NYC friends, together in one place.

This is what I loved most about my experience in New York. I’d met people from various jobs, or places I’d lived, or friends of friends or wherever but over the years, my good friends had become good friends and in the end, I realized we had created a big, quirky, fantastic, loving family.

And it was this family that was at my Second & Final Going Away Party.

Continue reading Second & Final.

Sometimes You Just Need An 80’s Rock Playlist.

I’d like to apologize to anyone who was at that Going Away Party.

I was supremely awkward.

This was because there were some people who knew about my Mom, and were offering their condolences, and others who did not know, so therefore with them, I felt I had to act ‘normal’. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my other friends with the information, it was just that I had no idea how to possibly bring it up.

I mean, there’s no bigger way to kill the mood of a party than to reveal that your Mom had just passed away the week before.

Continue reading Sometimes You Just Need An 80’s Rock Playlist.

Party Time.

I rolled over and looked at the clock.


It was two.

In the afternoon.

I raised my hand to my eyes to block out the sunlight and rolled back over to my other side. I wanted more than anything to continue sleeping. I was just so, so tired. But I had to get up.

This day, I had to get up.

Continue reading Party Time.

Living, Working & Dating as a 40-Something Single in NYC


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