And so that’s what I did.
I went on Date Eight, Date Nine, Date Ten and Date Eleven. I stuck to the promise I’d made to Lux, and when I met guy I liked and he asked me out again, I went.
But as much as I tried to keep an open mind, still, my head just wasn’t in the game.
In fact, one guy put it perfectly when he said, at the end of our date, “I enjoyed meeting you Tracey, but you didn’t really seem there.”
He was right.
Which is why I never wrote about any of them.
After I wrapped up my dating life, I hid my online profiles and felt an extreme sense of relief. Now I could do what I wanted to do.
And as time went by, I started to create my own little routines.
And I loved it.
Fridays after work, I’d go to the gym and then come home and clean for a bit and then wrap up the evening with a movie or reading a chick-lit book that I’d read before so I didn’t have to dispense any energy. Saturdays, instead of having to spend the morning sifting through strangers’ emails or searching through strangers’ profiles, I’d go out to my neighborhood coffee place – where eventually they learned my order and would start it as soon as I walked through the door. I’d pay my bills, call my parents and then read or take a nap or go out to drinks with friends or whatthefuckever. Sundays I’d work on the blog and cook healthy lunches for the week ahead.
Weeknights, I’d meet Sheri for Bikram Yoga or go home and read for work, or write, or just give myself the night off and pet The Cat while I watched re-runs of ‘Deadly Affairs’ on Investigation ID.
Right there with ya, Susan.
Weekdays, I’d set coffee meetings with various co-workers so they could teach me about the company and the product so I could approach my new role more effectively. They’d patiently answer all my questions and then, even though I’d asked them to meet, they’d pay for my coffee.
The Venice book was finally done so I worked with my writing partner on an agent query letter for it. I cleaned out my kitchen cabinets and cleaned out my desk drawers and made a list of things that needed to be fixed in the apartment. I took The Cat to get her nails clipped, dyed my hair and packed up my Summer outfits, replacing them in the dresser with sweaters, flannel pajamas and fluffy socks.
I finally got through all the things I’d wanted to do. And at the end of it all, I felt calm and I felt strong.
So when I woke up this morning, and caught a glimpse of my image in the mirror as I made my way to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, I stopped and faced myself.
I took a good look.
And then I gave a quick nod.
I was ready.
Not Quite A Cougar 
Yay, you! I’m so impressed that when given the time and space, you did what you meant (needed) to! 🙂
Thank you Elisabeth! I’m telling you, not stressing about dating made me feel like I was on vacation!
Sometimes you just need “alone time” just to work on you. I remember going through that with dating and honestly you even do it when married. I’ve realized when we don’t we become complacent and bored. Can’t wait to see what’s coming!
Thank you Jennifer! It really has been a fun time and I was surprised how happy and comfortable I felt being alone so much. It was a good lesson for me!
Kudos to you to working on yourself and feeling refreshed. I’m loving this series!
I hope that by creating your own routines that made you happy you just meet some guys organically that won’t stress you out and you can relax to get to know without the dating pressure. 0:)
We shall see, Sarah 😉 Thank you for reading!
You’ve BEEN ready. I’ve known it all along.
Thank you SCazzz! I am SO ready!!!
Yes!!! When dating feels like a job, then it is completely pointless. It should be fun, easy-going and interesting, not stressful. I am so glad you are taking time for “you”. Live your life for you, go do what you want. Yes, men do like independent women (and cats, lol). It’s important to be comfortable and ‘right’ with your alone self before you can fully share yourself with someone else. It boosts your self-confidence and puts you in such a good place, making your life feel full. Once you reach that level, you’ll be ready when Mr. Right does show up out of nowhere, and just when you least expect it. 🙂
I agree Melissa, thank you! I’m really glad I did it!
Sometimes we get wrapped up in what we think we need or want and forget about “us”. Awesome that you did that for you! We all need to do that more!! New beginnings and fresh seasons. Can’t wait for your adventures. Love reading.
Thank you so much Kimberly! You know, it really was a nice time to do it along with the changing season – it did feel like a new beginning!