Those of a certain age, you will remember in 1988 when Van Halen released the second album with Sammy Hagar as the lead singer: ‘OU812’. Now, despite what you may have thought of the album itself (I know some of you have never gotten over the loss of David Lee Roth) what was undoubtedly cool was the title. I remember thinking, “WOW. It’s letters and numbers but YOU CAN SAY IT AS A SENTENCE! WOWWOWWOW!!!!” Not a lot of bands had done that before, and this sort of short-speak was new and unique.
Now of course, it is commonplace. ‘U’ has replaced the incredibly difficult and laborious spelling of ‘you’ and thank goodness someone came up with ‘2’ as opposed to ‘to!’ I don’t know about you, but typing out that one other character to actually write the word was really bringing me down.
Now I will admit – I have fallen victim to using ‘OMG’ instead of the correct ‘Oh my God,’ as well as the ever popular and jovial ‘LOL’ instead of ‘Laugh out Loud.’ I don’t really have an excuse for this – except that maybe they ARE actually shorter?
Anyway, I put this question out on the NotQuiteACougar.com Facebook page on Friday and got a lot of interesting responses, but wanted to open it up for a wider view. Since Lux is well on the way to her goal of making me “The Most Popular Girl on Match.com,” (her words), I’ve been getting a lot of messages from her revamped profile. What I’m struggling with is that I’m getting many notes that use these abbreviations and well, I think it’s weird. Some messages are just: “How r u doing? What r u up 2 this weekend?” I just…don’t know how to respond to that. I get it if you’re sending a hurried text or are on Twitter – but an email message?
Now, in the spirit of full-disclosure, if an actual profile is written like that, full of letter and number abbreviations – that is a deal breaker for me. If you can’t take the time to craft something with proper grammar, (or, um, have someone else craft it for you), then I don’t have the time for you. That is non-negotiable.
So let’s not debate about that.
But my question for all of you is – if someone has an okay profile but they message like that, should they still be a viable contender? Let’s please keep in mind, these are men in their 40’s, not in their teens. And these are emails, not texts.
I’m really interested to get your thoughts, so please take the poll and sound off in the comments below!
I’ll post the results Wednesday on the NotQuiteACougar.com Facebook page so if you haven’t liked it yet, now is the time! 🙂
Not Quite A Cougar 
Wow. Yeah…that is lame. Honestly, I am irritated that I “have to” actually spell out words when I’m responding to emails with my phone, but I “have to!” Texts? I abbreviate like nobody’s business (yes, I’m 12, but my dad uses that phrase). Altho’, mostly I have a bazillion shortcuts so my phone spells it out for me when I type “prolly” (SO cute) or “ure.” *whew!* Anywho, I am a frickin’ STICKLER. And I maintain that the language can only be played with if you know it in the 1st place. Not like I never make – and miss – a mistake, but how can people expect to be taken seriously and how can you feel taken seriously if that’s the convo? BLEAH! U DESERVE BETTER! 🙂
Yeah, that’s the thing Elisabeth – autocorrect makes typing so easy on your phone so even if you’re communicating with that, you should be able to write out words. I feel like it’s almost harder to write in abbreviations!
Can I vote undecided? I think it’s really annoying when people write like they never went to elementary school, however it’s not really indicative of their personality…
Hahaha thank you Angela! I will put you down as ‘undecided.’ 🙂
We’re 40 something. We remember busy signals, life before Google, the magic that was call waiting and answering machines. We also remember how to write because we learned grammar in school. These guys should really act their age! You need more than 140 characters to find him! Stand your ground.
Yes, that’s why I struggle with this. These men have not grown up with texting like younger folk, so why they think writing like a teenager is okay I just don’t understand.
I think it is inexcusable. If they are really looking for a real relationship, they will put time and effort into their response. That includes full sentences and no abbreviations!
I do tend to agree with you Kate. It is so surprising to me though how many men actually write like this.
While I think you deserve better….actually I think you deserve the best. People are flawed. period. Just like every one on this page. We are all flawed. I imagine, in this day and age, where you can do just about everything on your phone, the primary way people access their match.com is through their phone app which is what leads them to use the abbreviations. Some people ARE in fact, less educated or lazy in which case, they wouldn’t be compatible with you but they could still be great people or really interesting people. I would rather someone communicate with abbreviations than withOUT punctuation or worse… communicate via text ONLY. ugh. So annoying. PICK UP THE PHONE! Anyway….that’s my 2 cents.
Thanks SP. This is a really interesting topic for me. Not being of the cell phone generation – it just feels so foreign. You bring up some good points!!
My two cents: I think of it as a filter. You are getting a lot of messages and probably don’t have the time or inclination to reply to them all. If someone writes you a thoughtful, considerate note you will probably reply even if you’re not romantically interested, just because they took the time and stuck their neck out a little.
Someone who simply says hi, what r u up to this weekend, however, has invested approximately 6 seconds in meeting you. I wouldn’t bother replying – to me that the equivalent of someone saying ‘you’re cute’ when you walk by in a restaurant or bar. Maybe a little flattering but not someone you’d necessarily stop and talk to. So in general I wouldn’t reply. You are worth making an effort for.
However, if his profile is amazing and you would have messaged him anyways if you had ‘seen’ him first, maybe he is worth replying to to see if there is a 16 or even 60 second email in him.
Thank you Lisa. I didn’t really think of it that way – but you’re right. Would I want someone in real life who invested 6 seconds and no thought to talk to me, made no effort to make a good impression? The answer is no. That’s what is so confusing about online dating – it seems the normal rules don’t apply, because you’re adding in a layer of disconnected technology. It is such an unfamiliar way of communicating to me.