Once More With Feeling.

“Do you have any news?”

Marc shook his head as he flipped open his take-out container. “Not really. I keep hearing conflicting reports.”

“Yeah, me too,” I sighed. “I mean, it could be as early as mid-March, late as June. That’s what I’ve heard.”

“What a fuckshow,” he said and then dug into his tiramisu.

One of our office mates joined us in the conference room. “So when do you think the next round of layoffs is coming?”

Marc and I gave each other the side-eye. “Who knows?” I said airily. Marc became engrossed in his dessert and I became entranced with the snowfall outside our Park Avenue window. The room became heavily silent.

Our coworker left, knowing she wasn’t going to infiltrate this meeting.

Continue reading Once More With Feeling.

The Axe Has Fallen.

Of course I saw it coming. We all did.

I, maybe even more than most.

Because one of the perks of my previous role as an Assistant to the Executives was that I became friends with a lot of different people from all the varied departments. So when the news began to slowly seep throughout the company, I was privy to a lot of pertinent information.

But still, this information didn’t make me take any action.

Continue reading The Axe Has Fallen.

Skip to My Lou.

Back in October, when My Boyfriend and I decided to finally give our relationship a go, there was no doubt we would eventually move back to Our Hometown in California. I don’t think we even discussed it. It just was understood. After all, it was where we met, all those years ago in high school, and we adored the town. We both still had tons of friends there, my mom was there, and the rest of my family was close by.

The only thing was – when we began planning the move, the thought of actually leaving NYC terrified me.

The friends I’d made, they were truly my East Coast Family. I couldn’t imagine being without them, meeting for last minute happy hours or brunches, catching up on the critical details of our lives. My cute little apartment, with it’s exposed brick wall and five points of outdoor light that kept it bright and airy even on the darkest thunderstruck days. My fun neighborhood where I’d wave to the shopkeepers on my way to the subway each morning. My company – a place I loved going to, a place I’d laughed probably more than anywhere else. And there was my new role. I’d only been in it for four months so I really needed more time and experience before I could feasibly look for a new job in a new location.

My lease turned over every year in May but I felt like seven months was too soon to make such a big move. It made my stomach cave in on itself to even think on it.

So we decided on May 2016.  Nineteen months. That seemed the right amount of time for me to build my resume, and for both us to say goodbye to our friends and respective cities.

So it was settled. We’d move in May of 2016.

Continue reading Skip to My Lou.

Settled Enough.

“You’re going to FORGET.”

“I’m not going to forget.”

“TRACEY. YOU WILL.”

I sighed.

It was Saturday morning and I hadn’t even had my first cup of coffee. But McKenzie was already back from a ten mile run so she was all riled up, reprimanding me on Facebook messenger for breaking my promise in March to continue to publish here and there.

It was now the middle of April. And I’d published nothing.

“You’ve been hanging around Lux too much,” I wrote. “Stop with the all-caps. It’s too early for  that.”

She ignored me. “SO MUCH has happened, how are you going to remember it all?”

“I’ve been taking notes.” And with that, I got up from my desk and set about making some coffee.

Continue reading Settled Enough.