Tag Archives: Relationships

The Next Chapter.

“Tracey. You can’t be serious.”

I laughed.  She always was such a drama-queen.

“Well Tina, yeah, I’m pretty serious.”

“But how will I know what’s going on with you?!”

“Um, we’ll talk like normal people?”

“Ugh. You know what I mean,” she said and I could hear her pouring another glass of wine.

It was Monday night and My Boyfriend was at band practice. This gave me the perfect opportunity to catch up on my reality crime TV, drink wine, and have a long overdue phone date with Tina.

Tina’s husband, Hank, was watching the baby so we’d been able to have a nice long chat. Over the course of the past hour, we’d gone through the normal topics – her son Jordan, My Boyfriend, people we knew in our hometown, her husband, her job, The Cat.

And then I’d told her about the blog.

Which was, that I was done with it.

Continue reading The Next Chapter.

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Three Out of Five. Part Two.

A few days after that, it was the Fourth of July.  Fourth of July is a HUGE deal in my town. People come from all over and there’s a parade and a ton of booths with art and wine and beer and every type of food you could possibly ever imagine. If you go downtown that day, you can pretty much guarantee you’ll see everyone you’ve ever known.

So as a result, I didn’t want to go.

Continue reading Three Out of Five. Part Two.

Three Out of Five. Part One.

After our fight, I had planned on punishing My Boyfriend by sleeping on the couch. But it ended up being really cold that night, so later I crept in bed.

I made sure to keep myself and The Cat on our side though.

The next morning when he said, “I love you, Tracey,” before he left for work, I rolled away from him and didn’t respond.

Which is something I promised myself I would never, ever do.

Continue reading Three Out of Five. Part One.

Are We In The Clear Yet? Part Two.

Back in February when I was still working, both my co-workers Lacy and McKenzie had urged me to download Taylor Swift’s 1989.

This did not sound like a thing I  wanted to do.

“I’m telling you – it’s amazing. Perfect running music,” McKenzie had said with reverence.

Lacy had nodded in agreement. “It will change your life.”

“Fine,” I’d said. I downloaded and listened to it once.

“Not for me,” I’d declared the next day.

They both looked at me and shook their heads sadly as if to say, “She just doesn’t get it.”

Continue reading Are We In The Clear Yet? Part Two.

Are We In The Clear Yet? Part One.

“I don’t think we’re going to make it.”

This is what I wanted to respond to my friends when they’d check in to see how I was doing.

“How are you adjusting, love?” they’d ask.

“Is it wonderful to be home?!” they’d inquire.

“How is your Boyfriend?” they’d wonder.

“Do you miss New York?” “Have you found a job?” “How is The Cat?” “I miss you so much!!”

And all I could think to reply was:

“I don’t think we’re going to make it.”

But I never said that.  Because I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.

Continue reading Are We In The Clear Yet? Part One.

Skip to My Lou.

Back in October, when My Boyfriend and I decided to finally give our relationship a go, there was no doubt we would eventually move back to Our Hometown in California. I don’t think we even discussed it. It just was understood. After all, it was where we met, all those years ago in high school, and we adored the town. We both still had tons of friends there, my mom was there, and the rest of my family was close by.

The only thing was – when we began planning the move, the thought of actually leaving NYC terrified me.

The friends I’d made, they were truly my East Coast Family. I couldn’t imagine being without them, meeting for last minute happy hours or brunches, catching up on the critical details of our lives. My cute little apartment, with it’s exposed brick wall and five points of outdoor light that kept it bright and airy even on the darkest thunderstruck days. My fun neighborhood where I’d wave to the shopkeepers on my way to the subway each morning. My company – a place I loved going to, a place I’d laughed probably more than anywhere else. And there was my new role. I’d only been in it for four months so I really needed more time and experience before I could feasibly look for a new job in a new location.

My lease turned over every year in May but I felt like seven months was too soon to make such a big move. It made my stomach cave in on itself to even think on it.

So we decided on May 2016.  Nineteen months. That seemed the right amount of time for me to build my resume, and for both us to say goodbye to our friends and respective cities.

So it was settled. We’d move in May of 2016.

Continue reading Skip to My Lou.

If This Were a TV Show, We’d Have A Cake!

Last week was our 100th post.

Since then, I’ve sat here every night and tried to write something creative and interesting that would express how I feel about achieving this milestone.

I started off with a cute conversation between Bree & me during one of our recent catch-up sessions, which then would lead into the revelation. But then I decided I wanted to use that conversation in a later post.

So then I tried starting with a flashback about the phone-date I’d been having with Shannon two years ago that lead to My Boyfriend and I reconnecting, which consequently resulted in the creation of this blog. But that wasn’t working the way I’d wanted it to.

I then crafted a number of other intros, but frankly, they were all crap.

Continue reading If This Were a TV Show, We’d Have A Cake!

The Best Laid Plans. And A Question.

Recently I received a Facebook message from a friend telling me she was getting a divorce. This is a person I’ve known since Junior High and although we’ll comment on each other’s statuses here and there, we haven’t actually talked in many, many years.

But this is one of the unexpected results I’ve experienced from working on this blog. Because I write the way I do, people feel comfortable reaching out and telling me their stories.

It’s pretty cool.

Continue reading The Best Laid Plans. And A Question.

Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part One.

“I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!”

“I know, baby,” My Boyfriend said as he reached over from the driver’s seat and squeezed my knee. “But it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I feel sketchy!” I cried, as I doubled over and attempted to take in huge gulps of air.

“You’re okay. Just lay the seat back and try to relax.”

It was the last day of my Christmas visit and we were on the way to SFO from our hometown to drop me off for my flight back to NYC. As we’ve all seen, I am not a good flyer under the best of circumstances but today with the added exhaustion, anxiety and nausea, I was not doing well. At all. I sat up and shielded my eyes as I looked out the window. Sausalito whizzed by, illuminated by the too-bright morning sunlight.

I laid the seat back and closed my eyes tightly. Then I whimpered, “I don’t understand why this is happening.”

“Well, we went big on Friday at Hometown Holiday Drinks,” My Boyfriend was saying. “And then yesterday at Lana’s brunch, you girls were hitting the champagne pretty hard.”

“I know, but I drank plenty of water last night and we went to bed early,” I said. “I should be okay.”

“Well, we haven’t had a lot of downtime overall,” he pointed out.

I opened my eyes and sniveled, “I kind of over-scheduled us, didn’t I?”

He smiled and reached to the backseat. “Here. Take my jacket and use it as a pillow. Try to get some rest.”

I took the jacket and folded it beneath my head. “I don’t feel well.” I looked up at him.

He looked down at me in pity. “Baby, if you’re not feeling better by the time we hit the bridge, I think we should change your flight to tomorrow.”

“But we’re trying to save money for visits!” I insisted.

“I know. But it’s only money. And it’s breaking my heart to see you like this.”

“I think I’m going to throw up,” I muttered.

“I think you’ve hit the wall,” he said.

“I think you’re right,” I replied.

Then I turned over and pulled the jacket over my head.

Continue reading Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part One.