Tag Archives: 40-something dating

The Next Chapter.

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“Tracey. You can’t be serious.”

I laughed.  She always was such a drama-queen.

“Well Tina, yeah, I’m pretty serious.”

“But how will I know what’s going on with you?!”

“Um, we’ll talk like normal people?”

“Ugh. You know what I mean,” she said and I could hear her pouring another glass of wine.

It was Monday night and My Boyfriend was at band practice. This gave me the perfect opportunity to catch up on my reality crime TV, drink wine, and have a long overdue phone date with Tina.

Tina’s husband, Hank, was watching the baby so we’d been able to have a nice long chat. Over the course of the past hour, we’d gone through the normal topics – her son Jordan, My Boyfriend, people we knew in our hometown, her husband, her job, The Cat.

And then I’d told her about the blog.

Which was, that I was done with it.

Continue reading The Next Chapter. →

Settled Enough.

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“You’re going to FORGET.”

“I’m not going to forget.”

“TRACEY. YOU WILL.”

I sighed.

It was Saturday morning and I hadn’t even had my first cup of coffee. But McKenzie was already back from a ten mile run so she was all riled up, reprimanding me on Facebook messenger for breaking my promise in March to continue to publish here and there.

It was now the middle of April. And I’d published nothing.

“You’ve been hanging around Lux too much,” I wrote. “Stop with the all-caps. It’s too early for  that.”

She ignored me. “SO MUCH has happened, how are you going to remember it all?”

“I’ve been taking notes.” And with that, I got up from my desk and set about making some coffee.

Continue reading Settled Enough. →

And We’re Off to a Greeeeat Start.

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“Okay. Tell me. What is it?” Sheri asked as she pulled the lid off her soup cup.

I opened my cheese sandwich and removed the wilted lettuce. I placed it in a pile on my plate with a deep sigh.

“This is not going as I’d hoped,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

We’d met for lunch between our two offices so we could fill each other in on the latest news of our lives. We usually order our meals ahead of time at Chipotle so we can avoid the extensive line and just pick up our food and grab a table. But we’d been running late on our plans and had to settle for a mediocre diner instead.

Continue reading And We’re Off to a Greeeeat Start. →

The Day After The Happily Ever After. Part One.

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“Omg.” McKenzie IM’d me.

“I know.” I replied.

“OMG!”

“I KNOW!”

“You have a boyfriend!!!”

“I know! It’s so weird!!!”

It was the morning I’d posted, “My Ex Comes to Visit. Part Two”, where I’d revealed My Boyfriend and I were going to give our long-distance relationship a go. Everyone was aflutter with the news, because even in my real-life, I hadn’t told many people we were even in contact. Instead, I’d wanted them to be surprised by the post. Which was either incredibly dedicated, restrained and creative, or incredibly unhealthy, bizarre and unnatural.

I haven’t decided yet.

Continue reading The Day After The Happily Ever After. Part One. →

My Ex Comes to Visit. Part Two.

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I often wish I was one of those people who, when faced with a period of uncertainty, would make it a point to get extra sleep, eat nourishing, empowering meals and meditate quietly on how everything happens for a reason and so therefore, there is no reason to worry.

But as we all know, I’m not.

Continue reading My Ex Comes to Visit. Part Two. →

My Ex Comes to Visit. Part One.

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I don’t really know what turned things around for My Ex. Actually, that’s not true, I do know. But that is not my story to tell, so I won’t. But I will say this. Ever since that call in July, he has never wavered. Not even once. There was no back and forth or indecision.

But as we’ve all seen, I’m not the easiest person to “date.” I can be insecure, needy. I can get paranoid, I can drink too much. Sometimes all those things at once. In the beginning of the three months before his visit, I was so nervous he would change his mind that I would regularly get hysterical and freak out and and accuse him of ‘playing me’ and shriek things like, “I won’t tolerate this! I won’t!!”

Then, the next morning I would call him up and say in a meek voice, “I’m sorry.” And then in an even meeker voice, “Are you still coming?”

And his response was always the same: “I’m still coming, Tracey.”

Continue reading My Ex Comes to Visit. Part One. →

Tina Weighs In.

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“Okay. I have to stop you right there.”

“Yeah,” I said with a laugh. “I figured as much, Kanye.”

“I need a glass of wine for this.”

“Yeah, I figured that too.”

“Or a bottle,” she muttered.

I sighed. I’d just revealed to Tina that My Ex had come to visit.

And she was not happy.

This was not a surprise.
Continue reading Tina Weighs In. →

…One.

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I was ready.

At least, I had been ready. That morning.

Now that evening, I was sick with anxiety.

I’d spent the day cleaning my apartment, getting a much needed, much resented manicure, and drinking an exorbitant amount of coffee to keep me going. I was too nervous to eat but by 9pm, I was becoming dizzy from lack of nourishment and excessive caffeine, so I shoveled in a handful of Fritos.

Of course, that was when the downstairs buzzer went off.
Continue reading …One. →

Three…Two…

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And so that’s what I did.

I went on Date Eight, Date Nine, Date Ten and Date Eleven. I stuck to the promise I’d made to Lux, and when I met guy I liked and he asked me out again, I went.

But as much as I tried to keep an open mind, still, my head just wasn’t in the game.

In fact, one guy put it perfectly when he said, at the end of our date, “I enjoyed meeting you Tracey, but you didn’t really seem there.”

He was right.

Which is why I never wrote about any of them.

Continue reading Three…Two… →