Tag Archives: Goodbye

Just an Excuse to Get a Cute New Carrier.

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“Do you want a Xanax?”

“No thanks.”

“Are you going to have a drink?” I asked, as I crammed the stack of gossip magazines I’d bought for the flight in the seat pocket in front of me.

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” I was confused. My Boyfriend is not a big drinker but still, I could not fathom why anyone would ever want to fly sober.

“I don’t know,” he said and shrugged. And then he leaned down to The Cat’s carrier at his feet and unzipped the secret opening where he could pet her undetected.

“Oh my god,” I said. “You don’t want  to be out of it in case she freaks out!”

He smiled. “I just want to be prepared. For anything.”

And I knew in that moment that he meant not only The Cat, but me, and my reaction to this trip.

“You are the best man,” I said.

Continue reading Just an Excuse to Get a Cute New Carrier. →

Second & Final.

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“Did you pick that outfit out yourself?!” McKenzie exclaimed, as she walked across the bar towards me, beer already in hand.

“I did! How did I do?” I asked, as I gestured to my low-cut green satin romper. I had accented it with thick gold necklaces and the high-heeled gold sandals Sheri had given me the previous Summer.

“I love it! You look fantastic,” she said. She turned to my right. “Oh my god, hi!! I have to give you a hug. I feel like I know you already!” She hurled her arms around My Boyfriend. “I’m McKenzie!”

I smiled at them and then looked around the bar. Sheri was chatting with Sean. Caitlyn was catching up with Bea. Marlie was perched on one of the leather couches with my old neighbor, Cody.  Bree, her boyfriend, and Lin were gathered around a tall table, sampling an appetizer platter. My friend Hana, who’d just moved back to town from Boston, was at the bar with our friend EJ. All my nearest and dearest NYC friends, together in one place.

This is what I loved most about my experience in New York. I’d met people from various jobs, or places I’d lived, or friends of friends or wherever but over the years, my good friends had become good friends and in the end, I realized we had created a big, quirky, fantastic, loving family.

And it was this family that was at my Second & Final Going Away Party.

Continue reading Second & Final. →

Sometimes You Just Need An 80’s Rock Playlist.

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I’d like to apologize to anyone who was at that Going Away Party.

I was supremely awkward.

This was because there were some people who knew about my Mom, and were offering their condolences, and others who did not know, so therefore with them, I felt I had to act ‘normal’. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my other friends with the information, it was just that I had no idea how to possibly bring it up.

I mean, there’s no bigger way to kill the mood of a party than to reveal that your Mom had just passed away the week before.

Continue reading Sometimes You Just Need An 80’s Rock Playlist. →

May Flowers. Part Four.

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Two days after my Mother passed, it was Mother’s Day. My Boyfriend and I were still at her house, wrapping things up. It was my last day before I was to return to NYC. As I’ve mentioned, I now have a really inappropriate habit of writing things in my head before they happen. Picturing how things will unfold and how I’ll feel about them. Since Mother’s Day was the day I was supposed to be in NYC participating in the race I’d been training for, I thought I would post a picture on Facebook and Instagram of my feet in my new running shoes with the caption being something about how I was supposed to be in NYC to run in the Mother’ Day Race, but instead I was home after saying goodbye to my own sweet Mother. And then I’d state that I was still going to run the four miles in her honor.

And that I loved her.

I thought this would be a lovely tribute. But in reality the reason I wanted to do it was more selfish. One thing I’d realized was that I’d rather everyone just find out at once, rather than have to awkwardly respond to various individual texts and messages from friends who didn’t know, them saying, “Hey!! What’s been going on? Are you getting excited for the move home?? 🙂 ”

Continue reading May Flowers. Part Four. →

May Flowers. Part Three.

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If someone would have told me this next part of the story before, I would have said, “Oh, isn’t that sweet? Trying to hold onto some part of your loved one while they passed? Well, whatever you have to do,” and then probably awkwardly patted their hand.

But it’s true, I know the exact moment my Mother passed. I had spent the morning at her side, saying all the things I ever wanted to say to her, because although she had never regained consciousness, I truly believed she could hear me every time I was there. But I never actually said  goodbye because I was afraid that would scare her. After I wracked my brain to make sure there was nothing left to say, I told the nurses I was ready.

And then I left.

Continue reading May Flowers. Part Three. →

May Flowers. Part Two.

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I had asked My Boyfriend to not join me for hospital visits as I knew my Mom would not like for him see her in that condition. So later that day, I went back alone where I told my Mom about our day. “We got burritos from that place by the grocery store, you know it right?” And then silently reprimanded myself for asking a question when she couldn’t answer. “So anyway, I got a burrito and when I was halfway through, I saw there was a lint ball in it! A LINT BALL! How does that even happen? I mean, I can understand a hair or a bug, but a lint ball?”I shook my head in disgust. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

Then I told her how we’d taken My Dad, who’d come up for the day, to see our rental house that afternoon and how he’d loved it. “I took some pictures,” I said. “I can’t wait to show them to you.” And I thought I may have seen her nod.

But maybe not.

Continue reading May Flowers. Part Two. →

May Flowers. Part One.

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I’m not going to get into the details of my Mother’s death but I will say, it was was very shocking and it was very unexpected.

A few days after my dinner with Lux and McKenzie, I received the call that she was in the hospital. It was the morning of my date with Sean and Thalia to see The Lion King and when I hung up, I was bewildered, and  freakishly thought, “I guess I’ll get ready for the show now.” I began to get dressed but as I was putting on my shoes, I started to shake uncontrollably.

You know, that kind of deep internal vibration that makes you feel as if your organs are going to rupture.

Continue reading May Flowers. Part One. →

A Farewell to Archie.

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“Sorry, I’m late,” Archie said, as he entered the conference room, with his open laptop resting in crook of his arm. “And I can’t stay long. I’m meeting my friend.”

“No worries,” I said. “We’re pretty much done.”

“I have to go too,” Lainie said, as she rose from the table.

“Okay,” I said and looked up at her. “Thanks so much for your help on all of this.”

After the details of The Dating Intern situation had been settled, the Social Media Marketing Team had actually focused and given me some awesome ideas on how to build readership of the blog. I wasn’t sure I could implement them all before the party, but they could definitely be priorities for Year Two.

Continue reading A Farewell to Archie. →