Scandal & Searches.

Last Saturday was awesome.

That afternoon, I met some girlfriends for a Belly Dancing class where I learned three things: 1) Belly Dancing is harder than it looks, 2) I am not very good at Belly Dancing, and 3) Belly Dancing is a blast.

Then, that night I went to a Quiet Clubbing event.

Continue reading Scandal & Searches.


“Oh. So, listen to this,” I said, as I tore off a piece of crust. I like to eat that part first.

“What?” asked Thalia.

It was Saturday night and she and Sean were over for one of our catch-ups. Usually I will (attempt to) cook on these nights but since I was still reeling from the previous week’s breakdown, we decided to just order in pizza.

“I was right.”

“Right about what?” asked Sean. He wasn’t looking at me and was engrossed in rolling his pizza slice into a manageable proportion.

“Right about Jonathan. He didn’t get back together with his ex-girlfriend after all.”

Continue reading Epilogue.

Piece By Piece.

I love working on this blog. I really do. Through this project, I’ve made new friends, strengthened relationships I already had and made contact with people all over the world. My life has been enriched in ways I never could have imagined.

I consider it one of my greatest achievements.

But one of the challenges of writing this blog, is that if I’m going through something particularly painful, because I write in real time – I have to publish it right away. I’ve found that if I hold onto posts, they start to clack around louder and louder in my head and it makes it harder for me to move past the situation. That is the reason I posted three times back to back last week. The situation with Jonathan was difficult for me and I knew if I tried to stagger the posts, it would make it very hard to let go of it and move on. That is also is the reason why I am posting this today. I’d rather not think about that night anymore.
Continue reading Piece By Piece.

Hurricane Crazy.

I must have stared at that damn text for three minutes.

At first I thought it must have been from someone else and I’d clicked on it, mistakenly thinking it was from him.

But after blinking at it and staring at it until the message started to blur, it sunk in that yes, it really was from Jonathan. Saying he was getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.
Continue reading Hurricane Crazy.

Repeat Performance.

“You’ve run out of chances, Tracey. This is it.”

“I know,” I said in a small voice.

“The next time you do this, the next time you say you’re out, I’m going to take you at your word.”

“I know,” I said quickly. “And I promise, promise it won’t happen again.”
Continue reading Repeat Performance.

Business As Usual.

“So, have you been sssssssexting?”

“What?” I was engrossed in RJ’s credit card statement, trying to reconcile his expenses.

“Sssssssexting,” Archie said again. He leaned over my office cube wall. “You and Jonathan. Have you been sssssssexting?”

I looked up at him. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“Because it makes it sound ssssssssexy.”

I squinted at him. “Are you drunk right now?”
Continue reading Business As Usual.

There But For the Grace of God, Go I.

Her voice lowered to just above a whisper. “Has he…has he killed anybody?”


“Oh my god, Tracey! Nooooooo!” she cried. “What are you doing?!” Continue reading There But For the Grace of God, Go I.


“Hey, I know we texted about this last night but I wanted to actually talk to you about it. Are you really okay with this? I mean, with me writing about this?”


“You’re sure?”

“Tracey, I’m really okay with it,” he said.

“But you…,” I switched the phone to my other ear and took a deep breath. “You realize that I’m going to tell the truth…the truth about everything.” Continue reading Prelude.

Speed Dating. Part Two.

It was obvious he had taken great pains in his appearance that night. He was wearing a classic blazer over a v-neck sweater. His hair was neatly styled and even his nails looked nice and clean.

“Hi, I’m Ned,” he said and extended his hand.

I took it. “Tracey. Nice to meet you.”

“You are really beautiful,” he said as he sat down.

I smiled. “Thank you. That’s a nice thing to hear.”

“Really.” He looked at me with nervous sincerity. “It’s hard to believe someone like you would need to do something like this.”

I almost answered with a snarky, “It’s because I’m bat-shit crazy.” But I got the sense that Ned was the kind of person who would be hurt by sarcasm. Continue reading Speed Dating. Part Two.