Tag Archives: Dating

The Next Chapter.

“Tracey. You can’t be serious.”

I laughed.  She always was such a drama-queen.

“Well Tina, yeah, I’m pretty serious.”

“But how will I know what’s going on with you?!”

“Um, we’ll talk like normal people?”

“Ugh. You know what I mean,” she said and I could hear her pouring another glass of wine.

It was Monday night and My Boyfriend was at band practice. This gave me the perfect opportunity to catch up on my reality crime TV, drink wine, and have a long overdue phone date with Tina.

Tina’s husband, Hank, was watching the baby so we’d been able to have a nice long chat. Over the course of the past hour, we’d gone through the normal topics – her son Jordan, My Boyfriend, people we knew in our hometown, her husband, her job, The Cat.

And then I’d told her about the blog.

Which was, that I was done with it.

Continue reading The Next Chapter.

Advertisements

Strangers (Sort of), In The Night.

I recently had the opportunity to cheat on My Boyfriend.

Now before you all get riled up, no, I didn’t put myself in a compromising position. I wasn’t at a bar slinking across a velvet lounger with the thin strap of my sparkly dress falling fetchingly off my shoulder, laughing lightly and sipping a cosmo that was bought for me by a charming gentleman leaning into me on said lounger.

It wasn’t like that.

Continue reading Strangers (Sort of), In The Night.

Tina Weighs In.

“Okay. I have to stop you right there.”

“Yeah,” I said with a laugh. “I figured as much, Kanye.”

“I need a glass of wine for this.”

“Yeah, I figured that too.”

“Or a bottle,” she muttered.

I sighed. I’d just revealed to Tina that My Ex had come to visit.

And she was not happy.

This was not a surprise.
Continue reading Tina Weighs In.

Five…Four…

“You know what you should do?”

“What?” I asked, as I warily eyed the contents of her enormous cup. We were in a conference room waiting for McKenzie so we could have an events brainstorming session for the Office Health & Wellness CommitteeLux was on a cleanse and the sight of her green juice was making my stomach turn, as I recounted my own experience with a juice cleanse. I took a sip of coffee to try to settle myself.

“You should put an ad up on Craigslist for guys to come audition to be your boyfriend!”  She said joyfully. “It’ll be great! We can list what you’re looking for and then have them all come and compete with each other to show why they think they’re best for you!”

I cocked my head to the side. “That has got to be the most ridiculous, and dare I say, dangerous idea you’ve ever come up with.”

Continue reading Five…Four…

Saturday Night Adventure.

“We want adventure.”

“What?” I put the phone on the kitchen counter and clicked it to speaker. “Picturing me strutting around in my jeggings wasn’t enough of an adventure for you?”

She laughed. “No, that was fun. We love hearing about your progress and we’re all cheering you on but really, it’s time to start dating again. Just like you said. That’s what we all want to read about.”

I sighed. “I know.”

Continue reading Saturday Night Adventure.

Breaking the Fourth Wall.

Usually I hate it when bloggers devote an entire post to speak directly to their audience. Nine times out of ten, it’s to sell something or ask for donations or beg people to share/repost their site or something equally annoying. I’ll roll my eyes and click out immediately, sighing in judgement. I’m a bit more sympathetic now as, having seen a little of the (surprisingly extensive and brutal) world of blogging, I more understand it. But still, I don’t like it.

Today, I am breaking my own rule. Continue reading Breaking the Fourth Wall.

Come for the Chicks, Stay for the Wings.

“It was so great to see you guys,” I said, as I pulled my sleeping-bag jacket firmly around me. Everyone hates this jacket because it’s totally unflattering, (“Boxy,” Sheri has decreed). But I like it because it’s long enough that if I wear tall boots, no one can tell I’m wearing my pajamas while I run errands around the neighborhood.

“You too, girlie,” Thalia said. She zipped up her own coat. Cold weather had officially settled in NYC.

“If I don’t talk to you ladies beforehand, have a great Thanksgiving,” said Sean. I moved in to give him a hug and he hugged me back tightly.

Thalia, Sean and I had met for our usual two-month catch up session. Normally, we meet on a Saturday evening at my place so I can wow them with my culinary skills with such menu-dazzlers as, ‘Make-Your-Own-Taco-Bar’ or ‘Make-Your-Own-Burrito-Bar’ or, if I am feeling especially creative, ‘Make-Your-Own-Taco-Salad-Bar IN A TACO SHELL BOWL.’ But since it was almost the holidays and everyone was busy, we decided to meet on a Tuesday. Which meant Hooters. Continue reading Come for the Chicks, Stay for the Wings.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try…Ugh.

The Fun Committee had convened in the Cafe, along with our part-time 21-year-old intern from NYU, Tara. The Cafe is an empty office that my company had turned into a hodgepodge lounging space complete with a working cappuccino machine and random scarves and pillows strewn everywhere. There is even a colorful collection of plastic tambourines arranged on the desk. I don’t know why.

I pulled out my notebook as Anna finished up making our coffee drinks. “Guys,” I said. “We have a situation.”

“What is it?” asked Emily. “Did the location for Office Happy Hour fall through?”

“No. Something much, much more serious.” I took a deep breath. “OkCupid is not working out.”

Emily’s expression darkened as she fired up her laptop. Tara straightened up and pulled the pen from her make-shift hair bun. She poised it over an empty notebook page. Anna somberly placed a cappuccino in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder. There would be no talk of Amanda Knox on this day. Continue reading If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try…Ugh.

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE BLOG, START HERE: When One Door Closes, Another One Opens. Even If You Have to Kick It Down.

“You’re too pretty.”

“You intimidate men.”

“Your online dating profile is too long, it makes you look crazy.”

“You look down too much when you walk.”

“You don’t get out enough.”

“You have your headphones in when you’re on the subway.”

“You come across as a bitch when people first meet you.”

“New York City is a hard place to meet someone.”

“You just haven’t found the person who will accept your flaws.”

“You don’t say ‘hi’ to strangers.”

“You don’t try hard enough.”

“You have a cat. It makes it look like you’ve given up.”

“You don’t show enough cleavage.”

These are the reasons people have given me for why I am still single at 42. As each of my friends have paired off over the past decades, I’ve often wondered why it really is that I am still single. It certainly wasn’t what I’d hoped for or planned. What was I doing wrong? I have my own list of why I think I’m still single. It is:

I never meet anyone my own age.

I hate shopping so my wardrobe is still stuck in 1995.

I would rather be home watching Investigation ID than go out.

I need to lose 10 pounds.

I have a compulsion to drunk-text.

I know nothing about music.

I can’t cook. I smoke cigarettes.

I’m an over-sharer.

I talk too much and too loudly.

I always look tired because I have insomnia. Or I’m hungover.

I’m too needy.

I’m too pale.

I have a cat. It makes it look like I’ve given up.

I don’t show enough cleavage.

I recently reconnected with my high school boyfriend. I hadn’t talked to him in 14 years but I can say honestly, he’d never been far from my mind. I’d always loved him. When we got back together six months ago, I said to myself, “This is why I’ve been single for so long! High School Sweethearts Reunited! What a great story this will be! I can’t wait to update my Facebook status!” But it was not meant to be. I was crushed. I thought this was finally my Happily Ever After. Continue reading IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE BLOG, START HERE: When One Door Closes, Another One Opens. Even If You Have to Kick It Down.