“You’re going to FORGET.”
“I’m not going to forget.”
“TRACEY. YOU WILL.”
It was Saturday morning and I hadn’t even had my first cup of coffee. But McKenzie was already back from a ten mile run so she was all riled up, reprimanding me on Facebook messenger for breaking my promise in March to continue to publish here and there.
It was now the middle of April. And I’d published nothing.
“You’ve been hanging around Lux too much,” I wrote. “Stop with the all-caps. It’s too early for that.”
She ignored me. “SO MUCH has happened, how are you going to remember it all?”
“I’ve been taking notes.” And with that, I got up from my desk and set about making some coffee.
When I returned, there was another message from her.
“So when do you think you’ll start up again?”
I took a sip of coffee. “I don’t know.”
“Look, McKenzie. I’ll post when the dust settles.”
“But when will that be?”
This makes me laugh now.
In the three months since that conversation with McKenzie, there have been many, many times when I thought the dust had settled – that I was ready to post again. But then another storm would blow through and I’d spend the next few weeks flushing the scratchy flecks from my eyes and scraping the grimy fragments from my mouth.
It got to the point where I just stopped taking notes. I found I needed to live in the present rather than formulate how I would write about it in the future.
So I don’t know if I remember it all correctly. I’m not necessarily sure it matters now.
Has the dust settled? Well, all I can say is -the air is not quite clear yet, but I guess it’s settled enough.
Yeah. It’s settled enough.