Tag Archives: cougar

Five…Four…

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“You know what you should do?”

“What?” I asked, as I warily eyed the contents of her enormous cup. We were in a conference room waiting for McKenzie so we could have an events brainstorming session for the Office Health & Wellness Committee. Lux was on a cleanse and the sight of her green juice was making my stomach turn, as I recounted my own experience with a juice cleanse. I took a sip of coffee to try to settle myself.

“You should put an ad up on Craigslist for guys to come audition to be your boyfriend!”  She said joyfully. “It’ll be great! We can list what you’re looking for and then have them all come and compete with each other to show why they think they’re best for you!”

I cocked my head to the side. “That has got to be the most ridiculous, and dare I say, dangerous idea you’ve ever come up with.”

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Date Seven. Or, Date Six, V. 2.0.

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“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” I thought. “This is too much.”

As we followed the hostess to our table, my gaze moved around the elegant glass domed room that was criss-crossed with large metal piping that ran from the floor to the high ceiling. Oversized art deco chandeliers hung throughout the space, giving off a comforting glow. Our cozy table for two was set off to the side, with a crisp white linen tablecloth and two delicately arranged napkins.

My immediate thought was, “Fuck. I am so underdressed.”

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Jigsaw Puzzle Singles Event: Mother/Daughter Edition.

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“Why hasn’t anyone tried to puzzle-piece us yet??” Tara cried, as we collected our drinks at the bar.

I laughed. “Relax, we’ve only been here five minutes.”

She sighed.

“Now remember,” I instructed. “We’re undercover. No mention of the blog, okay? Undercover.”

“Undercover,” she repeated, nodding. “Right. No mention of the blog.”

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Sick Day.

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He was almost to the door. Soon, he’d be gone.

I called after him. “Hey Marc, wait!”

He turned back to me. “Yeah?”

I began rummaging around in my wallet. “Can you get me a pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups while you’re there? Like the family-size pack?” Marc was off to Duane Reade to up our stash for the Office Gum Culture Task-Force. I found a 5 dollar bill and waved it at him. “But I mean, the mini-size, but in the family bag?” I sighed and shook my head. “Sorry, I’m not feeling well. I’m not making a lot of sense.”

He approached my desk and took the cash. “Sure, no problem.”

“Thanks,” I said. Then I turned back to my computer and tried to focus.

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Breathing Room.

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“Oh my god,” McKenzie said, as I stepped up to her desk. “How was the party?”

“It was so, so fun,” I said.

“Aw, I’m so glad,” she said, then she pointed at the little pile by her laptop. “Thank you for the coasters.” She hadn’t been able to make it to the party because she’d had to go on a last minute work trip. This annoyed us both. So I’d left her some NQAC coasters I’d had made for the event, so she could feel like she’d been a part of things.

“You’re welcome,” I said. “They’re so cute, right?!”

“So cute!” she said.

“I didn’t put many out at the bar because I just wanted to hoard them for myself. Not a very strong marketing plan on my part.”

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August 9th, 2013. Part One.

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“Um, hi,” I said and cleared my throat. I clasped my hands in my lap to steady them. “Thank you guys for coming.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve asked you all here today because – ”

“Hold up,” Floyd interjected. He was typing away on his laptop. “Every good meeting needs a soundtrack. Okay…okay,” He continued clicking. “And…BAM.” He hit a key definitively and looked up at me. “Now, we can start.” The room filled with House music.

“Okay,” I said slowly. “Thank you. Anyway…,” I started and looked over the group. I realized then how incredibly nervous I was.
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Good to Go.

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“Those shoes are HOT!!” Lux replied after I’d sent her a picture of the outfit I’d put together for the NQAC One Year Anniversary Party.  “I want them!!!”

This made me laugh. Because of course, she’d picked them out.
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Date Six.

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“So I was impressed you like Cards Against Humanity,” he said, as the waitress placed our mugs of coffee in front of us. “I love that game. I actually have all four Expansions.”

“Oh!” I said. “I didn’t realize there were other versions.”

“Yeah, they’re all great.”

“I’ll have to check them out then.”

Lily had been on vacation with her family and then needed to get settled in school, so she wasn’t available to be my Dating Intern until September. So I’d been in contact with Date Six myself. He had offered to meet at a quirky diner by my office for coffee and dessert. The only thing was, that afternoon we’d had an Office Make Your Own Sundae Party so I was not going to be having any dessert. I didn’t tell him this though. Then I’d probably blurt out that I’m President of The Fun Committee and frankly, that just seems like bragging.

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A Farewell to Archie.

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“Sorry, I’m late,” Archie said, as he entered the conference room, with his open laptop resting in crook of his arm. “And I can’t stay long. I’m meeting my friend.”

“No worries,” I said. “We’re pretty much done.”

“I have to go too,” Lainie said, as she rose from the table.

“Okay,” I said and looked up at her. “Thanks so much for your help on all of this.”

After the details of The Dating Intern situation had been settled, the Social Media Marketing Team had actually focused and given me some awesome ideas on how to build readership of the blog. I wasn’t sure I could implement them all before the party, but they could definitely be priorities for Year Two.

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