Two days after my Mother passed, it was Mother’s Day. My Boyfriend and I were still at her house, wrapping things up. It was my last day before I was to return to NYC. As I’ve mentioned, I now have a really inappropriate habit of writing things in my head before they happen. Picturing how things will unfold and how I’ll feel about them. Since Mother’s Day was the day I was supposed to be in NYC participating in the race I’d been training for, I thought I would post a picture on Facebook and Instagram of my feet in my new running shoes with the caption being something about how I was supposed to be in NYC to run in the Mother’ Day Race, but instead I was home after saying goodbye to my own sweet Mother. And then I’d state that I was still going to run the four miles in her honor.
And that I loved her.
I thought this would be a lovely tribute. But in reality the reason I wanted to do it was more selfish. One thing I’d realized was that I’d rather everyone just find out at once, rather than have to awkwardly respond to various individual texts and messages from friends who didn’t know, them saying, “Hey!! What’s been going on? Are you getting excited for the move home?? 🙂 ”
Continue reading May Flowers. Part Four.
I’m not going to get into the details of my Mother’s death but I will say, it was was very shocking and it was very unexpected.
A few days after my dinner with Lux and McKenzie, I received the call that she was in the hospital. It was the morning of my date with Sean and Thalia to see The Lion King and when I hung up, I was bewildered, and freakishly thought, “I guess I’ll get ready for the show now.” I began to get dressed but as I was putting on my shoes, I started to shake uncontrollably.
You know, that kind of deep internal vibration that makes you feel as if your organs are going to rupture.
Continue reading May Flowers. Part One.
“Will you at least be nice?”
“Tracey. I am being nice.”
“Paul!” I said in exasperation. “You’re acting like you don’t like him!”
“Oh, he’ll KNOW if I don’t like him,” he replied and took a sip of his drink, looking over my shoulder to see if there was anyone less annoying to talk to.
“Jesus,” I sighed.
All around us our friends were drinking and catching up in the patio area of a bar located on the outskirts of our town. The venue had been moved by majority demand and now instead of the small intimate gathering I’d planned, we’d ended up in an expansive space with a band, dancing and a huge outdoor courtyard with heaters and picnic tables. I didn’t mind the change though, because now I felt I didn’t have to be in hostess mode and besides, we’d had a really great turn out so the larger setting actually made sense. Everyone was hugging each other and laughing and taking pictures and screaming, “Oh my god! I didn’t know you’d be here! What the hell have you been up to?!” The Seventh Annual Hometown Holiday Drinks was turning out to be quite a success.
If I do say so myself.
“We’re going to sort this out right now,” I said and grabbed Paul’s arm. I began to lead him to one of the tables.
“Fine,” he acquiesced. “But you might not like what I have to say.”
“Whatever,” I grumbled.
Ugh. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take.
Continue reading Hometown Holiday Hot Mess. Part Two.
“Okay. Tell me. What is it?” Sheri asked as she pulled the lid off her soup cup.
I opened my cheese sandwich and removed the wilted lettuce. I placed it in a pile on my plate with a deep sigh.
“This is not going as I’d hoped,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
We’d met for lunch between our two offices so we could fill each other in on the latest news of our lives. We usually order our meals ahead of time at Chipotle so we can avoid the extensive line and just pick up our food and grab a table. But we’d been running late on our plans and had to settle for a mediocre diner instead.
Continue reading And We’re Off to a Greeeeat Start.