Tag Archives: 40-something dating

Five…Four…

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“You know what you should do?”

“What?” I asked, as I warily eyed the contents of her enormous cup. We were in a conference room waiting for McKenzie so we could have an events brainstorming session for the Office Health & Wellness Committee. Lux was on a cleanse and the sight of her green juice was making my stomach turn, as I recounted my own experience with a juice cleanse. I took a sip of coffee to try to settle myself.

“You should put an ad up on Craigslist for guys to come audition to be your boyfriend!”  She said joyfully. “It’ll be great! We can list what you’re looking for and then have them all come and compete with each other to show why they think they’re best for you!”

I cocked my head to the side. “That has got to be the most ridiculous, and dare I say, dangerous idea you’ve ever come up with.”

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Date Seven. Or, Date Six, V. 2.0.

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“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” I thought. “This is too much.”

As we followed the hostess to our table, my gaze moved around the elegant glass domed room that was criss-crossed with large metal piping that ran from the floor to the high ceiling. Oversized art deco chandeliers hung throughout the space, giving off a comforting glow. Our cozy table for two was set off to the side, with a crisp white linen tablecloth and two delicately arranged napkins.

My immediate thought was, “Fuck. I am so underdressed.”

Continue reading Date Seven. Or, Date Six, V. 2.0. →

Jigsaw Puzzle Singles Event: Mother/Daughter Edition.

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“Why hasn’t anyone tried to puzzle-piece us yet??” Tara cried, as we collected our drinks at the bar.

I laughed. “Relax, we’ve only been here five minutes.”

She sighed.

“Now remember,” I instructed. “We’re undercover. No mention of the blog, okay? Undercover.”

“Undercover,” she repeated, nodding. “Right. No mention of the blog.”

Continue reading Jigsaw Puzzle Singles Event: Mother/Daughter Edition. →

And Celebrate, We Did.

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Thalia and Sean laughed lightly together as they hung the NQAC banner on the back wall of the Overlook second-floor patio for our One Year Anniversary Party. Sean was balanced on a chair and Thalia was unspooling wire to him as he fastened it around the nails they’d pounded into the wood.

Marlie and Bea chatted amiably at one of the tables. Marlie was folding the table-tents that Thalia had created which displayed our specialty drinks and announced our prizes. The graphics looked so professional and perfect, it made me shake my head in bewilderment. Bea was unfolding the white paper flowers which were to be placed in the pink cubed vases that would then be set out on the ten or so tables that scattered the space.

Jack and his team from Solerno and Lillet were calmly setting up the the two reception tables. White table cloths floated in the breeze and they weighed them down with their cute tote bags, which were to be gifts for all our guests. They then set up a red-framed chalkboard on which one of the girls carefully wrote out the drink specials.

The mood was serene yet festive, and filled with measured anticipation.

Clearly, no one but me could see the obvious:

WE WERE IN CRISIS MODE.

Continue reading And Celebrate, We Did. →

Breathing Room.

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“Oh my god,” McKenzie said, as I stepped up to her desk. “How was the party?”

“It was so, so fun,” I said.

“Aw, I’m so glad,” she said, then she pointed at the little pile by her laptop. “Thank you for the coasters.” She hadn’t been able to make it to the party because she’d had to go on a last minute work trip. This annoyed us both. So I’d left her some NQAC coasters I’d had made for the event, so she could feel like she’d been a part of things.

“You’re welcome,” I said. “They’re so cute, right?!”

“So cute!” she said.

“I didn’t put many out at the bar because I just wanted to hoard them for myself. Not a very strong marketing plan on my part.”

Continue reading Breathing Room. →

Date Six.

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“So I was impressed you like Cards Against Humanity,” he said, as the waitress placed our mugs of coffee in front of us. “I love that game. I actually have all four Expansions.”

“Oh!” I said. “I didn’t realize there were other versions.”

“Yeah, they’re all great.”

“I’ll have to check them out then.”

Lily had been on vacation with her family and then needed to get settled in school, so she wasn’t available to be my Dating Intern until September. So I’d been in contact with Date Six myself. He had offered to meet at a quirky diner by my office for coffee and dessert. The only thing was, that afternoon we’d had an Office Make Your Own Sundae Party so I was not going to be having any dessert. I didn’t tell him this though. Then I’d probably blurt out that I’m President of The Fun Committee and frankly, that just seems like bragging.

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Additional Headcount.

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“TRACEY,” Lux said. “Were you nice?”

“Yes, I was nice,” I said, as I opened my laptop.

“But were you POSITIVE?” She took a sip of her Starbucks. This was her third Venti of the day. And well…it showed.

“Yes Lux,” I sighed. “I was positive.”

“Did you talk about The Cat?” asked Floyd from across the conference room table.

“Oh my god,” Lux gasped. “Did you? Did you talk about The Cat?”

“No. I did not talk about The Cat.”

“Well, what was it then?” asked Lainie, as she reached for a bribery cookie. These cookies were the only way I got people to come to these meetings.

“Guys, I don’t know. He just wasn’t into me. Let’s move on.” I had gathered the members of my Social Media Marketing Team in order to brainstorm ideas on how to get a big surge of readers before our One Year Anniversary Party, which was coming up soon. Instead, all they wanted to discuss was my failure with Date Five.

Complete. Chaos.

As usual.

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Date Five.

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“Bud Light, huh?” he said. “That’s kind of a white-trash choice, don’t you think?”

I laughed because he was trying to be funny and also because, it’s true. But still, this innocent comment did nothing to help ease my feelings of self-consciousness.

I was way out of my league at this place.

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Date Four. Part Two.

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I. Was. Trashed.

Like really trashed. Like trashed to the point where I was having to think verrrry carefully about what I was saying, so that I wouldn’t slur my words.

I am actually usually quite good about not drinking too much on dates. I always stick to a two drink limit and it’s never been a problem. But the lack of food in the past 48 hours had given me no buffer for the alcohol whatsoever. So even though I’d only had 3/4 of a vodka soda, I was a drunken mess.

Stupid juice cleanse.

Continue reading Date Four. Part Two. →