Tag Archives: Facebook

Scandal & Searches.

Last Saturday was awesome.

That afternoon, I met some girlfriends for a Belly Dancing class where I learned three things: 1) Belly Dancing is harder than it looks, 2) I am not very good at Belly Dancing, and 3) Belly Dancing is a blast.

Then, that night I went to a Quiet Clubbing event.

Continue reading Scandal & Searches.

Wrapping It Up.

Her message flashed at the bottom of my screen. “Why don’t you just make something up?”

“Hmm…,” I typed back. “I don’t know about that.”

“Why not?” she wrote. “It could be the kind of thing where the blog is based in truth but that some details have been altered.”

It was Saturday night and I was supposed to be working on the Venice Book. Instead, I was Facebook messaging with Tina. Continue reading Wrapping It Up.

Oh. Is it Valentine’s Day?

“So, what’s going on with Bradley?” Caitlyn asked, as she took a sip of Prosecco.

“Oh yeah,” Marlie said. “Weren’t you supposed to see him last weekend?”

It was the Friday before Valentine’s Day and we’d met for Happy Hour at one of our favorite Upper East Side spots. “I was,” I said, nodding. “But there was some confusion on it all…”

“What do you mean?” asked Caitlyn.

I sat back into the black leather couch and looked up at the pink chandelier that hung over our table. I took a deep breath. “Well, I thought we were getting together and then…” I shook my head. “He went on vacation to Mexico or something? I don’t know. It was weird.”

“Oh,” said Marlie, “Well, I’m sure you’ll hear from him.”

I took a sip of my Pacifico, which I’d settled for, as this bar doesn’t have Bud Light. I know, what kind of a place doesn’t have Bud Light? Continue reading Oh. Is it Valentine’s Day?

Contest Details!

Hi all!

I’ve been asked to post directly about the contest as it was kind of hidden on Monday’s blog. 🙂

Winner will be randomly selected from those who share the Contest Post on the NotQuiteACougar.com Facebook page.
The Contest will end on Midnight, Friday, 2/14/14. I’ll announce the winner on 2/15/14.

What you will win:

Two tickets to the Off-Broadway hit, “Sex Tips for A Straight Woman From a Gay Man!”

Based on the best-selling book of the same name!

“Hilarious! A cannily entertaining romp through
the nuts and bolts of sex.”
-Salon.com

More show information here.

NotQuiteACougar.com Facebook page here.

*Please note, the tickets are good through March 31st and some blackout dates apply.

Good luck!!

We are back to our regular posts next Thursday 🙂

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A Change in Plans.

Lux was the last to arrive, breezing in and saying, “Sorry I’m late! Did you guys start already?” Naturally, we hadn’t. She settled into her chair, looking chic in her skinny jeans and high-heeled boots. Her blonde hair was perfectly styled. I bit my lip. Since my trip to Venice, I’d slipped back into some old habits. Well, okay, yeah, all of them. I’d been so busy writing, I’d stopped working out, was eating pizza for every meal and, I’m sick to admit it, even having the occasional cigarette. Okay, maybe not so occasional. I was also back to wearing my old uniform of ill-fitting dresses, black leggings and knock-off Uggs, as these renewed habits were doing no favors for my waistline. I couldn’t fit into my Sheri-approved outfits anymore. I just was so tired of trying to keep it all together.

I looked around the conference room as everyone was involved with chatting and laughing and catching up on company news. “Okay, guys,” I said. No one paid any attention. I cleared my throat. “GUYS.” I may as well have been shouting into the wind. I sat there for a second and shook my head. What a collection of characters. The Fun Committee, Emily and Anna were there, of course. As well as our intern, Tara. Archie was to my right, with our graphic designer, Lux, to my left. There was also a newcomer today, Lainie, who now worked with Emily on her team.

This, was my Social Media Marketing Team. Continue reading A Change in Plans.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try…Ugh.

The Fun Committee had convened in the Cafe, along with our part-time 21-year-old intern from NYU, Tara. The Cafe is an empty office that my company had turned into a hodgepodge lounging space complete with a working cappuccino machine and random scarves and pillows strewn everywhere. There is even a colorful collection of plastic tambourines arranged on the desk. I don’t know why.

I pulled out my notebook as Anna finished up making our coffee drinks. “Guys,” I said. “We have a situation.”

“What is it?” asked Emily. “Did the location for Office Happy Hour fall through?”

“No. Something much, much more serious.” I took a deep breath. “OkCupid is not working out.”

Emily’s expression darkened as she fired up her laptop. Tara straightened up and pulled the pen from her make-shift hair bun. She poised it over an empty notebook page. Anna somberly placed a cappuccino in front of me and put a hand on my shoulder. There would be no talk of Amanda Knox on this day. Continue reading If At First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try…Ugh.

Zeke Comes to Visit. Part One.

Zeke showed up in my doorway with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and a Starbucks coffee in his hand, after having made the long drive from Boston to NYC. There were many times over the years when Zeke had been on the East Coast for work but had never come to see me. This had caused many of our arguments. But a few days ago he’d announced an impromptu visit for this weekend. I had a sneaking suspicion this decision was not a result of him suddenly wanting to see the sites of New York or even to see me really. I had a feeling this was mostly because he was a little worried about my current state of mind. He knew this was the weekend My Ex had been scheduled to come out from California. That trip had been cancelled, of course. And although I’d told him I was doing FINE, he’d still insisted on coming out. Continue reading Zeke Comes to Visit. Part One.

The Beauty is in The Details. Or At Least a Good Profile Picture.

My back hurt. I was starving. And my blood alcohol content was getting dangerously low. It was 8 o’clock that Friday night and I was just now getting to the part of actually filling out my profile. This was not going as planned.

I’d already made it through the anxiety-producing process of creating a username. It needed to be fun, flirty and positive without seeming too artsy or naive. It also needed to not sound too desperate, bitter or inadvertently pornstarish. After discarding many choices, I felt I’d come up with something that sounded relatively interesting without seeming as if I was trying too hard to sound relatively interesting. So that was done. The next step was to upload profile pictures.

I am hopeless when it comes to anything technical. In truth, the only reason I was able to even put this blog together was because my co-worker, Lux, tirelessly built it for me and then walked me through each small, painful step to actually utilize it. (Her: “No, stop clicking on the actual site! Click on the Dashboard!” Me: “What’s a Dashboard?!”) I was trying to pull pictures from Facebook but they were all too small. After an hour and a half of exasperation, I put my head on my desk and wished I could just call Lux and have her do it for me. The only problem was that she had a new baby so it seemed totally inappropriate to call her at 8 o’clock on a Friday night with such a ridiculous request. And also, I didn’t have her phone number. Continue reading The Beauty is in The Details. Or At Least a Good Profile Picture.

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE BLOG, START HERE: When One Door Closes, Another One Opens. Even If You Have to Kick It Down.

“You’re too pretty.”

“You intimidate men.”

“Your online dating profile is too long, it makes you look crazy.”

“You look down too much when you walk.”

“You don’t get out enough.”

“You have your headphones in when you’re on the subway.”

“You come across as a bitch when people first meet you.”

“New York City is a hard place to meet someone.”

“You just haven’t found the person who will accept your flaws.”

“You don’t say ‘hi’ to strangers.”

“You don’t try hard enough.”

“You have a cat. It makes it look like you’ve given up.”

“You don’t show enough cleavage.”

These are the reasons people have given me for why I am still single at 42. As each of my friends have paired off over the past decades, I’ve often wondered why it really is that I am still single. It certainly wasn’t what I’d hoped for or planned. What was I doing wrong? I have my own list of why I think I’m still single. It is:

I never meet anyone my own age.

I hate shopping so my wardrobe is still stuck in 1995.

I would rather be home watching Investigation ID than go out.

I need to lose 10 pounds.

I have a compulsion to drunk-text.

I know nothing about music.

I can’t cook. I smoke cigarettes.

I’m an over-sharer.

I talk too much and too loudly.

I always look tired because I have insomnia. Or I’m hungover.

I’m too needy.

I’m too pale.

I have a cat. It makes it look like I’ve given up.

I don’t show enough cleavage.

I recently reconnected with my high school boyfriend. I hadn’t talked to him in 14 years but I can say honestly, he’d never been far from my mind. I’d always loved him. When we got back together six months ago, I said to myself, “This is why I’ve been single for so long! High School Sweethearts Reunited! What a great story this will be! I can’t wait to update my Facebook status!” But it was not meant to be. I was crushed. I thought this was finally my Happily Ever After. Continue reading IF YOU ARE NEW TO THE BLOG, START HERE: When One Door Closes, Another One Opens. Even If You Have to Kick It Down.