“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” laughed Marlie.
“I know,” I said and rolled my eyes. “It’s totally ridiculous.”
“I hope it will be fun.”
“Of course it will be fun.” I peered into the candlelit bar. “We’re here together. We’ll have fun no matter what.”
“A lie is a lie is a lie,” insisted Leanne, as she tucked a lock of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s as simple as that.”
“Okay, I get what you’re saying,” I said. “But this is the thing. As one of the readers commented – if you meet someone out and about, you’re not going to introduce yourself and be all, ‘Hi my name is Tracey and I’m 43.'” I took a sip of Corona and then continued. “No, you’re just going to get to know them and then age comes up later. But online, you’re required to put how old you are and that automatically categorizes you, before someone even gives you a chance. And in my case, dismisses you.”
“But why would you want to even date someone your age who’s cut-off is thirty-six?” she asked.
“Hmm, that’s a good point,” I said and looked around the table. “What do you guys think?”
“Ew!” I exclaimed, as I burst through the conference room door.
“What?” Archie was trying to enjoy a peaceful Bento Box lunch, away from the usual office chaos.
But I was having none of that.
“My post for tomorrow sucks!” I stared down at him, hands on hips. “It SUCKS!”
Continue reading Age Aint Nothin’ But a Number…? And Another Poll.
“We want adventure.”
“What?” I put the phone on the kitchen counter and clicked it to speaker. “Picturing me strutting around in my jeggings wasn’t enough of an adventure for you?”
She laughed. “No, that was fun. We love hearing about your progress and we’re all cheering you on but really, it’s time to start dating again. Just like you said. That’s what we all want to read about.”
I sighed. “I know.”
I think we can all agree there’s nothing more tedious and annoying than an artist discussing their ‘process.’ They’ll spout on about their ‘craft’ and their ‘inspiration’ and how they ‘see the world differently’ than the rest of us and then they’ll tell you about the speck of dew they saw on a young leaf that morning, and how it relates to them entering as the new kid in the middle of first grade. Maybe their voice will waver and they’ll get a tear in their eye.
And you’ll want to kill yourself.
So I try not to do that here.
I mean, that shit is BORING.
At first, I was too stunned to speak.
And then I almost said, “I’m touched.”
But that seemed inappropriate.
I tried out in my mind, “I’m flattered.” But that also seemed weird for a work exchange.
So instead, I just said: “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Continue reading The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same. Or… Part Two.
I was pretty sure I was about to get fired. Like seriously. Wade and his team didn’t need me in the same capacity anymore and in a surprising plot-twist, RJ had left the company. Although I still was supporting Seth and maintaining my duties on the Wellness Committee, not to mention my important role of President of the Fun Committee, I knew that no company would see this as a full workload. I wondered vaguely if I should start working on my resume.
Continue reading The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same. Or… Part One.
Last Saturday was awesome.
That afternoon, I met some girlfriends for a Belly Dancing class where I learned three things: 1) Belly Dancing is harder than it looks, 2) I am not very good at Belly Dancing, and 3) Belly Dancing is a blast.
Then, that night I went to a Quiet Clubbing event.
“Oh. So, listen to this,” I said, as I tore off a piece of crust. I like to eat that part first.
“What?” asked Thalia.
It was Saturday night and she and Sean were over for one of our catch-ups. Usually I will (attempt to) cook on these nights but since I was still reeling from the previous week’s breakdown, we decided to just order in pizza.
“I was right.”
“Right about what?” asked Sean. He wasn’t looking at me and was engrossed in rolling his pizza slice into a manageable proportion.
“Right about Jonathan. He didn’t get back together with his ex-girlfriend after all.”
Not Quite A Cougar 